IIf you see an unusually large number of women with red hair today, don’t worry. We are no longer invaded by Vikings, nor is there a Nicola from Girls Aloud convention near you. There’s a perfectly reasonable explanation for the sudden outbreak of redheads, and it’s that Black Widow was recently released.
According to the website Justmylook, there has been a 163% spike in demand for the color since the release of Black Widow, presumably because many people spent two hours and 14 minutes watching a movie about a woman struggling with the psychological torment of knowing. she was part of a Soviet military program that brainwashed, sterilized, and murdered hundreds of abandoned girls, only to think, “Ooh, I bet I’d look gorgeous with her hair.”
In reality, that is the extent of this news item. There was a movie, people saw the movie and then they copied a haircut from the movie. That is it. But it’s weird that this never happened with previous Marvel movies, right? It’s weird that no one has sent out a press release stating that people were so inspired by The Incredible Hulk that sales of frayed purple pants jumped 1,000% in the weeks following release. It’s strange that there wasn’t a noticeable increase in the number of men with finicky little goatee beards shortly after Iron Man came out. It’s strange that in the immediate aftermath of Ant-Man, we weren’t inundated with stories of people stripping the shelves of all the nondescript clothing Paul Rudd happens to be wearing in that movie.
What could be different about Black Widow? The public may be relieved. Natasha Romanoff has beautiful hair in this movie, as it takes place before the events of Avengers: Endgame, in which half of the planet’s hairdressers were thrown to the dust by a vengeful bald alien. It could be because we know Romanoff is dying in search of the Soul Stone, and people are adopting her hair as a way to preserve her legacy. On the other hand, maybe it could be something else.
There’s a great compilation video on YouTube where Scarlett Johansson suffers a question after an insulting question that journalists ask her about Black Widow’s appearance. Her co-stars are asked about stunts and character motivation, and she’s asked what foods she had to eat to get in shape. How does it feel to be a sex symbol? What are the main fashion elements of Black Widow? Is she wearing panties under her jumpsuit? Perhaps this latest news, which is the most important thing taking Black Widow’s audience, her beautiful shiny hair, is an extension of that same trend.
Perhaps we should investigate this further. Did people track down the brand of makeup Johansson was wearing in the scene where she falls off a roof and smashes her body into a painful state of disrepair? Have sales of photogenic but extremely impractical leather jumpsuits also skyrocketed, along with a corresponding increase in talcum powder? Are more and more women having their necks surgically dislocated so they can pose for photos while showing off their butt, breasts and face like Black Widow did in that first Avengers poster?
There’s a chance I’m overthinking this. But then again, there’s a chance I really am not. But as much as it shows Hollywood’s endemic sexism, at least we all know that 163% more people have dyed red hair than before Black Widow came out. That’s something, right?